Wearing the Hijaab isn’t just a matter of simply putting a piece of cloth on your head, it is an attitude, a way of thinking and behaving, and accepting yourself for who and what you are. Basically it constitutes an Islamic way of life, it is a statement, which indeed should portray a certain attitude.

A woman may indeed wear a long skirt and a scarf, but if she flirts constantly, then she can’t be really described as wearing the Hijaab (Indeed clothes should be long, loose and not see through, after which any style of clothing is applicable). The whole idea involves conducting oneself with dignity at all times (that means running for the bus and boisterous behaviour in public is not a good idea!!). As previously mentioned, the Hijaab depicts a statement, and that is something one should be continually aware of. It identifies you as a Muslim, and ultimately people will judge Islam by you, and that is a heavy responsibility!! Yet sisters, we must also be thankful that by wearing the Hijaab, we go a long way in fulfilling our duties of Dawah. Curiosity prompts people to question us, giving us the opportunity to show the non-muslims the beauty of our religion. O.k., so we may get the stares at times (to which one rapidly becomes immune), but it is amazing how many are sincerely interested, oh and not to forget the redoubtable old British ladies on the Tube (“Oh I do like your headdress, my dear!!!”).

Hijaab isn’t meant to restrict you from doing the kind of things you want to do, it is a blessing because it makes us check our behaviour continuously, preventing us from doing the things that muslims shouldn’t be doing anyway. Anything (with the blessings of the Almighty, is possible) -studying, working etc. etc. -provided it is within the bounds of Islam (Halal).

Sometimes, however the decision to wear the Hijaab can become extra complicated through external pressures, notably family and friends. Unfortunately, even some muslims nowadays look upon the Hijaab as being too “extreme”, and the like and when these attitudes come from members of your family then the decision becomes all the more difficult. Speaking from experience, things do change, because ultimately, you are doing this for Allah (s.w.t), and he will make it easy for you, by “softening” the hearts of those that may not be all that encouraging. Eventually they themselves will want to follow you because deep down they know that it is the right thing to do. If that doesn’t help, then this should convince you:

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Prophet (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Allah the Almighty says:

“I am as my servant thinks I am…If he draws near to Me a hand’s span, I draw near to him an arms length; and if he draws near to Me an arm’s length, I draw near to him a fathom’s length. And if he comes walking, I go to him at speed.”

On the other side, it is important to ascertain the motive for wearing the Hijaab. If you are thinking of wearing it to please your husband, to impress people at the mosque, or just as a change, then please think again. Hijaab (as with everything else) is to please Allah (s.w.t) only; any other motive will not sustain that conviction.

A word also to our brothers; Hijaab may seem to be merely a woman’s issue, but that is not so. Muslim men have to follow a dress code too, no matter if it isn’t as extensive as for women it still exists! The men, like women, should also wear loose clothes -so no tight fitting jeans please!! Their attitude to all women should also always remain respectful and business like, as the women’s attitude to men should be.

Finally, all of the above pales in significance to the words of our Creator (s.w.t):

Say to the believing men
That they should lower
Their gaze and guard
Their modesty: that will make
For greater purity for them:
And Allah is well acquainted
With all that they do.
And say to the believing women
That they should lower
Their gaze and guard
Their modesty: that they
Should not display their
Beauty and ornaments except
What (ordinarily) appear
Thereof; that they should
Draw their veils over
Their bosoms and not display
Their beauty except
To their husbands, their fathers,
Their Husband’s fathers, their sons,
Their brothers or their brothers’ sons,
Or their sisters’ sons,
Or their women, or their slaves
Whom their right hands
Possess, or male attendants
Free of sexual desires.
Or small children who
Have no carnal knowledge of women;
And that they
Should not strike their feet
In order to draw attention
To their hidden ornaments.
And O ye Believers!
Turn ye all together
Towards Allaah in repentance that ye
may be successful.  

(Al -Quran, ch.24: 30-31)

I am a muslim women. I wear the niqaab (face veil).

I'm one of those to whom the new law in France would apply. I'm one of the ones being discussed by politicians, human rights groups and the media.
I'm one of those whom many feel the need to liberate.
I'm one of those you may think is oppressed.
I'm one of those many of you detest the sight of…
I'm one of those whom you may believe is uneducated; one of the ones you may think has no voice.
But I do. So let me speak.
I am not Arab, Asian or even African. I am Australian. No, not 'first generation', 'second generation', or an immigrant. On my mother's side, I'm of French-Canadian descent, and on my father's side; British. I grew up as a Christian, and attended church occasionally. I was in the school swim team, and district netball team. I holidayed with my family in the summer on the Gold Coast, and I'm educated. I have a university degree.
 
When I was 18 years of age I was introduced to Islam. I studied it, and accepted it a year and a half later. By the time I reached 20, I was wearing the headscarf, and after I married I donned the niqaab.
Because of my husband? No.
My husband did not want me to wear it, although his mother and sister do, and out of respect for his wishes I didn't do so for two years. But I wanted to, and eventually did, and knowing it to be in line with our religion, my husband knew he had no authority to prevent me, and he now greatly admires my strength.
Then, I wore it because of my father? No. He's a catholic.
Because of my brother? Nope, haven't got one.
My uncle? He's an atheist.
Then because of my son? My eldest is only 8 years old. Then why??
 
Because I want to, that's why.
 
And seeing as though my niqaab does not hurt anyone, that should be sufficient reason for all of you liberals of a liberal society; I should be able to finish my discussion right here. But although it may be so for any other style of dress, it isn't enough when it comes to niqaab for some reason. You want more. So I will continue.
What makes me want to then? Two things: Faith and experience.
 
Faith? Yeah, faith. Faith in my Creator , faith in His decisions, faith in Islam. A deep faith. Many wander at the faith of Muslims, at their conviction and their commitment. It's a faith, that if you are not Muslim, is hard to explain or describe. The scripture of Islam, the Qur'an has scientific miracles in it, such that have captivated scientists globally, leading many to accept Islam. Moreover, the Qur'an has not been changed in over a thousand years, since it was revealed; not one letter moved from its place. I dare say there isn't a religious scripture like it, and this lends a clue as to the root of such faith.
In the Qur'an, Allah Ta'ala tells us to cover ourselves, 'so as to be known, but not molested'. So our covering is a protection; a liberation.
 
Protection? you ask. Liberation? From what?
This is where I move on to my second reason for veiling. Like I said, I grew up in a Western secular society, in true Western secular style. I dressed secular, lived secular, and enjoyed all the 'liberties' of such a society. Did I feel liberated, free? Suffice to say, we were taught we were, so I never thought to think otherwise. It wasn't until I became Muslim, and started covering , that I really felt liberated, and realised , before that I wasn't.
Yet, time and time again we hear it said that we Muslim women are forced to veil, are oppressed; treated by our men folk as nothing more than 'objects.' And that niqaab, burqa, hijab; whatever term you use, is a form of 'imprisonment'.
But what about the imprisonment of anxiety and depression?
What about the imprisonment of anorexia and bulimia?
What about the imprisonment of frequent rigorous exercise routines?
What about the imprisonment of always feeling the need to look like the super-model on the cover of Cosmo, or the pop-singer in the music video?
What about the slavery to fashion?
What about the entrapment of jealousy??
How many women waste their hard-earned money, destroy their physical and mental health, expose their bodies to vulnerability, abuse and extortion in order to…… in order to what??
In order to gain approval and praise.  Who's approval and praise? Men's.
And yes, it seems even other women too. So it seems non-Muslim women are not only slaves to men, but slaves to society as a whole.
Before you scream your disagreement, which many of you may do as a knee-jerk reaction to being told you're also oppressed, stop and think. Look around you; contemplate society today, and its values, its aspirations, its goals, its direction, its past-times, its hobbies….
What good has it done for women to doff more and more clothing?
What good has it done for images of uncovered made-up women to be plastered on every billboard and magazine, on the TV, in the movies, and on the net?
 
Has it really brought any good for women?
 
The women in the images may aptly feel good about themselves for a while, but what does it mean for every other women?
Women who look upon these images usually become anxious, jealous, unsure and critical of themselves, or all of these things. Many men who view them will become aroused, or even unhappy, less satisfied with the partners they already have. What can, and does this lead to?
Cheating, dumping, chastisement, and even harassment of other women, and even children by, men, who cannot find a legitimate outlet for their constant arousal.
 
 And yes, I can hear some of you; 'then the men must control themselves!'Frankly speaking that argument is well spent, not to mention futile, as most men are, inherently, only able to react to that, the same way a hungry lion would react if thrown a juicy piece of steak, and told not to eat it….
 
Do the uncovered women captured in these images and industries, or parading around, realise or even care how many young girls are starving, purging and stressing themselves trying to mirror their image? No.
It seems they even take perverse pleasure in it. One barely-dressed singer even boldly and crudely sung recently, 'Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?'
What?!
What is this women and her ilk saying??
What are they implying??
What are they doing to their sisters in humanity??!
So many poor girls, eroding themselves physically and mentally as they watch with jealousy and anxiety their partners ogle singers like this. Have the same thing occur to these women, these 'idols'; have their partners swoon over another similarly attired, and witness their reaction! And when their daughters are molested by men they themselves, or women like them, have aroused, will they reflect?
Will they act?
Will society act?
 
Yeah, we see it reacting: ban the burqa!
 
 
It just amazes me how many women especially, despise my choice of dress. Yet, would they rather their husband's secretary to be dressed like me or otherwise?
Would they rather the waitress serving the table at their anniversary dinner, be dressed like me or otherwise?
Is it me and my sisters who are turning their husband's head, or attracting their boyfriends??
Is it me and my sisters who have led their daughters to anorexia, or their sons to pornography?
Is it me and my sisters whose bodies and faces solicit their husband's/boyfriend's attention on every corner? Is it me and my sisters who have aroused that man to rape or harass their sisters?
Whose mode of 'dress' is truly oppressive and harmful to women??
So now I've spoken, and although I am one, I speak on behalf of hundreds. I've explained to you that the majority of us have chosen this mode of dress, especially in the West. I have told you that we love it, we want it, and I've exemplified for you the inherent good in it.
So to those of you who really are so concerned about 'liberating' me, then you will listen to what I have said, and let me and my sisters be.

Tuesday, 17 August 2010 10:47

SOME years ago, I was sitting with a friend of mine and she started telling me about her struggles with hijab after becoming Muslim. She had grown up Christian and accepted Islam while she was in college. “For me, hijab was the hardest thing,” she said. “I just didn’t want to wear it. So I made every excuse I could. ‘It’s too hot.’ ‘I can’t breathe’.” She shook her head, remembering. “But the funny thing is, I didn’t realize I didn’t want to cover. “Until one day I was talking to some sisters and I was making the same excuses. And the sisters started trying to convince me, but for everything they said, I had an answer. And we kept going back and forth. But then a sister said something that I really couldn’t respond to.” She paused. “‘Just make du’aa. Pray that Allah makes it easy for you’.” Her eyes grew distant, reflecting. “When she said that, I didn’t know what to say. In the back of my mind, I knew that if I asked Allah for help, I would wear hijab. And that’s when I knew I didn’t really want to cover.  I didn’t even ask Allah to help me. Because I didn’t want Him to.” • When I hear stories like these, I think of the depths of the human heart. I think of how we think we know ourselves and our intentions. But, really, we don’t. For almost every one of us, there’s something we know we need to change but simply won’t. The issue may involve not wearing hijab, not praying regularly, watching inappropriate TV and movies, intermingling, having “boyfriends” or “girlfriends”... And for each, we have a convenient excuse, if we bother to make excuses at all. But in Ramadan, a lot of unpleasant things come to surface because the devils are chained and the depths of our hearts are exposed. Yet most of us still manage to wriggle out of obedience to Allah, and the excuses abound… There’s no point in wearing hijab in Ramadan if I know I’m just going to take it off later… I don’t want to be a hypocrite… I know myself, and I’m not ready to change my life... But in each excuse, there’s one key component that’s missing. Allah. I don’t mean His name is absent. For most of us, it’s actually Allah’s name we use to justify our wrong. Allah is Forgiving. Allah knows my heart. Allah’s my judge… Or our favorite… When I change, I’ll do it for Allah, not because people asked me to… Yet Allah says, “And make not Allah's (name) an excuse in your oaths against doing good, or acting rightly…” (2:224).  When we’re not blaming Allah for our sins, we’re blaming our natural human weakness. And it’s true; humans are weak. But the truth is that this isn’t our chief shortcoming. But human weakness is the chief shortcoming for those with high emaan. Those with low emaan have as their chief shortcoming a diseased heart. The strong believers constantly strive to do what’s right, but because of human weakness, they inevitably fall short. But their energy is spent striving against sin, not giving in to it. The weakest believers don’t even bother striving; they’re quite comfortable in their life of sin. Their energy is spent defending their sin, not fighting against it. …I don’t want forgiveness. I don’t want to change. I like the wrong I’m doing… This is what it really boils down to. Otherwise, we’d just make du’aa, and pray that Allah makes it easy for us to do what’s right, even if we fall short at times. But it starts with wanting change. And that’s not an easy thing for the human heart, especially for those of us content with our low emaan and life of sin. Yet… All will be forgiven during the month of Ramadan, except those who do not want to be forgiven. And who does not want to be forgiven? Those who do not ask. The month of Ramadan is, more than anything, a month of opportunity. It’s a time to set right things that are wrong. It’s a time to change course, even as you’ve no idea how you’ll walk that new path. It’s a time to ask for change, to beg for change, to cry for it—even if part of you doesn’t even want it. And it’s okay if you have no idea how you’ll manage wearing hijab, praying regularly, shutting off that TV, or leaving alone those “cute” girls or guys. It’s okay, because it’s not you you’re turning to for help. It’s Allah. And Allah is able to do all things. Let us remember, too, that Allah is All-Forgiving. But, of course, to benefit from Allah’s Forgiveness, we first have to want it. And wanting forgiveness isn’t just saying we want it, or just uttering a prayer. It means we regret our sin. It means we hate our sin. And it means we take every step to avoid it. And we never give up fighting against it. That’s what it means to want Allah’s forgiveness. That’s what it means to ask for it. So it is upon each of us to closely examine our lives—and hearts—and ask ourselves a simple question. Do you want forgiveness? If our answer is yes, we know Who to turn to for help and guidance. If our answer is no… well, there’s nothing for us to do except what we’ve always been doing.   Umm Zakiyyah is the internationally acclaimed author of the novels of the If I Should Speak trilogy and Realities of Submission. Copyright © 2010 by Al-Walaa Publications. All Rights Reserved.

This article is written by an american sister Tara Gregory, who now resides in Saudi Arabia. She requested that her articles be linked, not copied. So please refer to original site to read on.
Jazakillahufeekum
 
http://islamicarticles.wordpress.com/2008/06/28/why-i-wore-hijab-then-niqab/


Picture extracted from :
http://niqab.de/post/461855194

A conversation for Muslim sisters:

"I'm so tired."

"Tired of what?"

"Of all these people judging me."

"Who judged you?"

"Like that woman, every time I sit with her, she tells me to wear hijab."

"Oh, hijab and music! The mother of all topics!"

"Yeah! I listen to music without hijab... haha!"

"Maybe she was just giving you advice."

"I don't need her advice. I know my religion. Can't she mind her own business?"

"Maybe you misunderstood. She was just being nice."

"Keeping out of my business, that would be nice..."

"But it's her duty to encourage you do to good."

"Trust me. That was no encouragement. And what do you mean 'good'?"

"Well, wearing hijab, that would be a good thing to do."

"Says who?"

"It's in the Quran, isn't it?"

"Yes. She did quote me something."

"She said Surah Nur, and other places of the Quran."

"Yes, but it's not a big sin anyway. Helping people and praying is more important."

"True. But big things start with small things."

"That's a good point, but what you wear is not important. What's important is to have a good healthy heart."

"What you wear is not important?"

"That's what I said."

"Then why do you spend an hour every morning fixing up?"

"What do you mean?"

"You spend money on cosmetics, not to mention all the time you spend on fixing your hair and low-carb dieting."

"So?"

"So, your appearance IS important."

"No. I said wearing hijab is not an important thing in religion."

"If it's not an important thing in religion, why is it mentioned in the Noble Quran?"

"You know I can't follow all that's in Quran."

"You mean God tells you something to do, you disobey and then it's OK?"

"Yes. God is forgiving."

"God is forgiving to those who repent and do not repeat their mistakes."

"Says who?"

"Says the same book that tells you to cover."

"But I don't like hijab, it limits my freedom."

"But the lotions, lipsticks, mascara and other cosmetics set you free?!
What's your definition of freedom anyway?"

"Freedom is in doing whatever you like to do."

"No. Freedom is in doing the right thing, not in doing whatever we wish to do."

"Look! I've seen so many people who don't wear hijab and are nice people, and so many who wear hijab and are bad people."

"So what? There are people who are nice to you but are alcoholic. Should we all be alcoholics? You made a stupid point."

"I don't want to be an extremist or a fanatic. I'm OK the way I am without hijab."

"Then you are a secular fanatic. An extremist in disobeying God."

"You don't get it, if I wear hijab, who would marry me?!"

"So all these people with hijab never get married?!"

"Okay! What if I get married and my husband doesn't like it? And wants me to remove it?"

"What if your husband wants you to go out with him on a bank robbery?!"

"That's irrelevant, bank robbery is a crime."

"Disobeying your Creator is not a crime?"

"But then who would hire me?"

"A company that respects people for who they are."

"Not after 9-11"

Yes. After 9-11. Don't you know about Hanan who just got into med school?
And the other one, what was her name, the girl who always wore a white hijab... ummm..."

"Yasmin?"

"Yes. Yasmin. She just finished her MBA and is now interning for GE."

"Why do you reduce religion to a piece of cloth anyway?"

"Why do you reduce womanhood to high heals and lipstick colors?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"In fact, I did. Hijab is not just a piece of cloth. It is obeying God in a difficult environment. It is courage, faith in action, and true womanhood.
But your short sleeves, tight pants..."

"That's called 'fashion', you live in a cave or something? First of all, hijab was founded by men who wanted to control women."

"Really? I did not know men could control women by hijab."

"Yes. That's what it is."

"What about the women who fight their husbands to wear hijab? And women in France who are forced to remove their hijab by men? What do you say about that?"

"Well, that's different."

"What difference? The woman who asked you to wear hijab... she was a woman, right?"

"Right, but..."

"But fashions that are designed and promoted by male-dominated corporations, set you free? Men have no control on exposing women and using them as a commodity?! Give me a break!"

"Wait, let me finish, I was saying..."

"Saying what? You think that men control women by hijab?"

"Yes."

"Specifically how?"

"By telling women how and what to wear, dummy!"

"Doesn't TV, magazines and movies tell you what to wear, and how to be 'attractive'?"

"Of course, it's fashion."

"Isn't that control? Pressuring you to wear what they want you to wear?"

[Silence]

"Not just controlling you, but also controlling the market."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you are told to look skinny and anorexic like that woman on the cover of the magazine, by men who design those magazines and sell those products."

"I don't get it. What does hijab have to do with products."

"It has everything to do with that. Don't you see? Hijab is a threat to consumerism, women who spend billions of dollars to look skinny and live by standards of fashion designed by men... and then here is Islam, saying trash all that nonsense and focus on your soul, not on your looks, and do not worry what men think of your looks."

"Like I don't have to buy hijab? Isn't hijab a product?"

"Yes, it is. It is a product that sets you free from male-dominated consumerism."

"Stop lecturing me! I WILL NOT WEAR HIJAB!

It is awkward, outdated, and totally not suitable for this society... Moreover, I am only 20 and too young to wear hijab!"

"Fine. Say that to your Lord, when you face Him on Judgment Day."

"Fine."

"Fine."

[Silence]

"Shut up and I don't want to hear more about hijab niqab schmijab Punjab!"

[Silence]

She stared at the mirror, tired of arguing with herself all this time.

Successful enough, she managed to shut the voices in her head, with her own opinions triumphant in victory on the matter, and a final modern decision accepted by the society - but rejected by the Faith:

"Yes!" - to curls on the hair - "No!" - to hijab!

Subhana'Allah!!!

"And he (/she) is indeed a failure who corrupts it [the soul]!" [Noble Quran 91:10]

"Nay! You prefer the life of this world; While the hereafter is better and more lasting." [Noble Quran 87:16-17]

"You are the best community (Ummah) raised up for (the benefit of) humanity; enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong and believing in Allah." [Noble Quran 3:110]

taken from http://www.islamswomen.com/hijab/why_she_wont_wear_hijab.php

Sunday, October 22, 2006; Page B01

LONDON

I used to look at veiled women as quiet, oppressed creatures -- until I was captured by the Taliban.

In September 2001, just 15 days after the terrorist attacks on the United States, I snuck into Afghanistan, clad in a head-to-toe blue burqa, intending to write a newspaper account of life under the repressive regime. Instead, I was discovered, arrested and detained for 10 days. I spat and swore at my captors; they called me a "bad" woman but let me go after I promised to read the Koran and study Islam. (Frankly, I'm not sure who was happier when I was freed -- they or I.)

Back home in London, I kept my word about studying Islam -- and was amazed by what I discovered. I'd been expecting Koran chapters on how to beat your wife and oppress your daughters; instead, I found passages promoting the liberation of women. Two-and-a-half years after my capture, I converted to Islam, provoking a mixture of astonishment, disappointment and encouragement among friends and relatives.

Now, it is with disgust and dismay that I watch here in Britain as former foreign secretary Jack Straw describes the Muslim nikab -- a face veil that reveals only the eyes -- as an unwelcome barrier to integration, with Prime Minister Tony Blair, writer Salman Rushdie and even Italian Prime Minister Romano Prodi leaping to his defense.

Having been on both sides of the veil, I can tell you that most Western male politicians and journalists who lament the oppression of women in the Islamic world have no idea what they are talking about. They go on about veils, child brides, female circumcision, honor killings and forced marriages, and they wrongly blame Islam for all this -- their arrogance surpassed only by their ignorance.

These cultural issues and customs have nothing to do with Islam. A careful reading of the Koran shows that just about everything that Western feminists fought for in the 1970s was available to Muslim women 1,400 years ago. Women in Islam are considered equal to men in spirituality, education and worth, and a woman's gift for childbirth and child-rearing is regarded as a positive attribute.

When Islam offers women so much, why are Western men so obsessed with Muslim women's attire? Even British government ministers Gordon Brown and John Reid have made disparaging remarks about the nikab -- and they hail from across the Scottish border, where men wear skirts.

When I converted to Islam and began wearing a headscarf, the repercussions were enormous. All I did was cover my head and hair -- but I instantly became a second-class citizen. I knew I'd hear from the odd Islamophobe, but I didn't expect so much open hostility from strangers. Cabs passed me by at night, their "for hire" lights glowing. One cabbie, after dropping off a white passenger right in front of me, glared at me when I rapped on his window, then drove off. Another said, "Don't leave a bomb in the back seat" and asked, "Where's bin Laden hiding?"

Yes, it is a religious obligation for Muslim women to dress modestly, but the majority of Muslim women I know like wearing the hijab, which leaves the face uncovered, though a few prefer the nikab. It is a personal statement: My dress tells you that I am a Muslim and that I expect to be treated respectfully, much as a Wall Street banker would say that a business suit defines him as an executive to be taken seriously. And, especially among converts to the faith like me, the attention of men who confront women with inappropriate, leering behavior is not tolerable.

I was a Western feminist for many years, but I've discovered that Muslim feminists are more radical than their secular counterparts. We hate those ghastly beauty pageants, and tried to stop laughing in 2003 when judges of the Miss Earth competition hailed the emergence of a bikini-clad Miss Afghanistan, Vida Samadzai, as a giant leap for women's liberation. They even gave Samadzai a special award for "representing the victory of women's rights."

Some young Muslim feminists consider the hijab and the nikab political symbols, too, a way of rejecting Western excesses such as binge drinking, casual sex and drug use. What is more liberating: being judged on the length of your skirt and the size of your surgically enhanced breasts, or being judged on your character and intelligence? In Islam, superiority is achieved through piety -- not beauty, wealth, power, position or sex.

I didn't know whether to scream or laugh when Italy's Prodi joined the debate last week by declaring that it is "common sense" not to wear the nikab because it makes social relations "more difficult." Nonsense. If this is the case, then why are cellphones, landlines, e-mail, text messaging and fax machines in daily use? And no one switches off the radio because they can't see the presenter's face.

Under Islam, I am respected. It tells me that I have a right to an education and that it is my duty to seek out knowledge, regardless of whether I am single or married. Nowhere in the framework of Islam are we told that women must wash, clean or cook for men. As for how Muslim men are allowed to beat their wives -- it's simply not true. Critics of Islam will quote random Koranic verses or hadith, but usually out of context. If a man does raise a finger against his wife, he is not allowed to leave a mark on her body, which is the Koran's way of saying, "Don't beat your wife, stupid."

It is not just Muslim men who must reevaluate the place and treatment of women. According to a recent National Domestic Violence Hotline survey, 4 million American women experience a serious assault by a partner during an average 12-month period. More than three women are killed by their husbands and boyfriends every day -- that is nearly 5,500 since 9/11.

Violent men don't come from any particular religious or cultural category; one in three women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in her lifetime, according to the hotline survey. This is a global problem that transcends religion, wealth, class, race and culture.

But it is also true that in the West, men still believe that they are superior to women, despite protests to the contrary. They still receive better pay for equal work -- whether in the mailroom or the boardroom -- and women are still treated as sexualized commodities whose power and influence flow directly from their appearance.

And for those who are still trying to claim that Islam oppresses women, recall this 1992 statement from the Rev. Pat Robertson, offering his views on empowered women: Feminism is a "socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."

Now you tell me who is civilized and who is not.

Yvonne Ridley is political editor of Islam Channel TV in London and coauthor

of "In the Hands of the Taliban: Her Extraordinary Story" (Robson Books).